APAS Diaries: Baby Miesha – When God Sends a Sign

Many times in my life, I have asked God for signs. Usually, when I need to decide on something big, I ask God’s guidance and intervention so that He can lead me to the right path. Some would argue that this is not good practice as we should not “test” God, but because He has answered during the times that I have asked, I don’t think He minds 🙂 

But what happens when you are in the middle of something really challenging in your life? Do you still see the light at the end of the tunnel? Would you even care if God sends you a little something as a promise that soon, your dreams will be fulfilled? Will you heed? Will you keep on having faith? What if the Universe sends you a tiny rattle in the midst of your infertility journey? Would you consider it a mockery or something to hope for? This is the story of Miesha and her parents and how they battled with auto- and alloimmune disorders. 

Name: April Mclyn Panzo-Reforma
RID (repro-immuno disorder) Categories: 
Cat 1, 2, 3, 5 & Borderline in 4
OB:  Dra. Aina Sales-Diaz
Immuno: Dra. Carol Gloria
Age : 39
How many pregnancies? 2
How many miscarriages? 1
Live births? 1

1. How did you know that you have RID?

We’ve been working on the pregnancy for more than 5 years already with my 4th OB. But after our first failed IUI, she asked me to take the test already.

2. What did you feel when you first found out you had RID?

Not very much worried, as I did not take it seriously. I guess because the OB did not further explain to us about it, so I am very clueless on what that condition is. It is only after a miscarriage and when we transferred to our 5th OB, who also referred us to our immunologist that we fully understood the condition.

3. What preconception treatments did you have?

LIT & Vitamin D3 1,000 IU

4. What is the greatest challenge of having RID?

The greatest challenge for me is dealing with my previous miscarriage, the paranoia attacks that challenged me everyday during my 2nd pregnancy.

5. How long after the treatments did you get pregnant?

5 months

6. What were your medications during pregnancy?

Aspirin, Innohep, Intralipid, IVIG

7. Any advice to those who are diagnosed with RID and are still trying.

I am 36 years old when I gave birth. But those are just numbers, I believe that it is still God who is in control of everything. Keep on trying and never give up. God is always true to His promise to give our heart’s desires in His perfect time. God knows when we’re ready.

8. Please share your RID timeline

My history:

9 years married (going 10 on December 5, 2018)

7 years work-up (5 OBs)

With Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

2010 both fallopian tubes are okay. 

2013 na blocked na yung right. Had a laparoscopic surgery also due to Endometriosis and Myoma.

January 2014 Failed IUI (4th OB)

February 2014 APAS Test (positive)

May 2014 Positive PT (Natural Pregnancy)

July 2014 MC (No more heartbeat on our 2nd ultrasound) – It’s also on the same month that we sought for a 2nd opinion and decided to transfer to a new OB. Then she referred us to an immunologist and she diagnosed me under Category 1, 2, 3 & 5. Borderline on Cat 4. With Vitamin D3 Deficiency.

August to October 2014 Undergone 5 sessions of LIT (Lymphocyte ImmunoTherapy)

October 2014 Positive LAT (Leukocyte Antibody Test)

March 2015 Positive PT (Natural Pregnancy)
Took Aspirin, undergone Intralipid and IVIG. Injects .35 of Innohep and increased dosage to .45 on my 7th month.

🌈

On October 20, 2015, at exactly 4:38 PM, our life has changed and our precious rainbow baby, Miesha, was born via ECS @ 36w1d. She’s 3.04 kilos so everything went well.

AMARA ELYSIAN a.k.a. “MIESHA”. We wanted to give her a name that will serve as a reminder of God’s faithfulness and perfect timing. “Amara” means “Beloved/Eternal”, Elysian means “Beautiful/Divine/Perfect” (true enough, she is) and “Miesha” (her nickname) means “Gift of God.”

It has been a long and great journey, 7 years has been really tough.. Our pregnancy had a lot of complications, but we never gave up. She is worth the wait. Thank you for all your prayers. Jon & I appreciate all the love, so we are sharing to all of you our beloved beautiful gift of God and our priceless bundle of joy.

9. What is your greatest realization?

That I am stronger than I thought I was. Dealing with a miscarriage and having RID were never easy. It is something that you need to fight everyday, specifically during the pregnancy. But we have to submit everything to God and believe that He is in control.

10. What/Who helped you through this difficult time?

My faith with the Lord. My husband and my family.

11. Anything else you would want to share.

I remember making a compromise with God to bless us with a child during Ash Wednesday. I went to church alone and prayed hard. Then a month after, I found out that I am pregnant again. God speaks to me and my husband so much; we really feel His presence even during my 1st pregnancy.

Our marriage before my first pregnancy was shaking and I believe that God put us in that situation in order for us to realize that there is something to be happy about and look forward to. In a span of days, we were able to fix it. 

2 weeks after, our 1st pregnancy has been taken away from us. “Sorry, wala nang heartbeat.” Those were the words that continuously replayed in my mind.

My heart broke until we found ourselves inside the chapel. We were supposed to go down after the check-up and surprisingly the elevator went up. As the door opens, we saw the chapel of the hospital. I cried so hard and prayed.

As the day went by, we sought a 2nd opinion and hoped for a miracle to happen. But it’s still the same result, we already lost the baby. I accepted everything that happened and was able to understand my case. Thanks to my immunologist who patiently explained to us everything.

As we were about to go home, at the hospital’s parking lot, I saw a rattle toy beside our car, it was located near the passenger seat where I would sit.

I picked it up and kept it with me as I believe it is my angel baby who sent it to me. A year after it became to be my daughter’s first toy.

Was this a coincidence? I don’t think so. I have never believed much in coincidences, anyway. I had goosebumps reading the last part of April’s story and time and time again, when I publish APAS Diaries, I am awed by God’s work and timing. Once again, to God be the glory. Happy Sunday, everyone. 

1 Samuel 10:7 |
“It shall be when these signs come to you, do for yourself what the occasion requires, for God is with you.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

To have loved and lost…

I woke up in the middle of the night the other day, sandwiched between  my two kulits whose soft snores blended with their dad’s own orchestra. Sleep has evaded me and while browsing Facebook, I chanced upon this artist’s painting, Alena Kalchanka

and my heart just broke into a million pieces…

It was bittersweet to have come across these photos because around this time, 5 years ago, I lost my second baby.

Time (and two epidurals) has somehow clouded my memory and I haven’t thought a lot about my little angels this past year but seeing these paintings brought me an avalanche of raw, mixed emotions.

Statistics show that 1 out of 4 women will suffer from a pregnancy loss. That’s an awful high number, don’t you think? October is, in fact, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and this post could not have been more timely.

While miscarriages may be common, it still does not take away the pain that we go through when we lose a pregnancy.

It doesn’t matter if you were 5 weeks along or 3 months or 8 — the heartache of a miscarriage would still be the same for a mother who was expecting.

While I am the happiest woman because God has given me Santi and Lucia despite my autoimmune and alloummune disorders, I am also the saddest to have never met my two Bastis.

Someday, my little ones, someday…

I will never know God’s real reason of taking my Sebastians too soon, but my Santi and Lucia are living proof of God’s infinite grace that in His time, He will grant our heart’s desires.

So, to you, my little cherubims, there will always be a space in my heart reserved only for you. Someday, I hope to meet you, wherever that may be. Til then.

 

P.S. I contacted Alena on Facebook and asked permission to use her photos (thank God for Google Translate because I speak no Italian) and she has wonderfully indulged me. Thank you so much and God bless you sevenfold. You are an incredible artist. Continue blessing the world with your craft xx